Wouldn’t it be nice if love was like it is in fairy tales and “We all live happily ever after?” Alas, life is not. This quote from my one of my books sums up the happily ever after theory, “Relationships are where we humans get our greatest education.” Everyone has positive and negative emotions that need to be expressed appropriately. It’s too bad that we aren’t always taught how to do that in childhood. It’s important to work on anger issues in order not to hurt others.

Do I always express anger appropriately? Not always, I still find the F word so empowering to let go of my anger. My computer is often the target of my anger, in fact, I joke that if my computer was my child it would be hanging out in the hood selling drugs! I used to think it was Okay, because it was just an object, but it affects others in my household. Someone pointed out to me to think of how much my computer helps me when I start to get angry at it, which helped tremendously.

You may need to seek a specialist to help you with your emotions. Once we become better at handling our own anger, we are better equipped to handle our potential mate or significant other’s anger. Everyone comes from different backgrounds and expresses their anger differently. My sister and I tend to want to talk about what is going on, of course we ended up with men who are opposites. One evening on the ride home, I was sitting in the back seat of my brother-in-law’s Camaro.

Listen when they are ready to talk, you will have your chance to talk. Each case is different, but for the most part when it is your turn to talk, do so without being defensive or judgmental. Please note it is alright to accept different types of anger, it is never Okay to accept violence! Many moons ago, I gave a former boyfriend a semi- concussion with a phone handle because he was choking me. This was back before cordless phones and a phone handle was very heavy.